Monday, April 20, 2009

Nadja Benaissa's shocking arrest

Many people have been asking me to comment on Nadja's arrest recently, as she is one of the original members of the girlgroup 'No Angels', the band I helped form on the German show 'Popstars'.

On April 11, 2009, Nadja was arrested on suspicion of having had unprotected intercourse on several occassions in 2004 and 2006 without beforehand informing her partners that she is HIV-positive, allegedly infecting one partner with HIV. She faces a possible charge of dangerous bodily harm. She was remanded in custody, after a judge ruled there was a danger she might repeat the alleged offence. If found guilty, the offence would carry a sentence of six months to ten years imprisonment.

Obviously, I'm in shock about the whole case. This is just awful. And it's weird to read something like that about someone you know.

When we picked Nadja for the band, one of the reasons was the fact that she had been living quite a 'hard life' up till then. She was a single mum & was desperately trying to make ends meet. She was a bit wild child before, but it seemed that she had faced her demons. I didn't know that she had caught HIV (I assume she became infected during those early years), but we were well aware of her past & we wanted to give her the chance to have a better future. For herself and for her daughter too.

Everything seemed to have worked out so great and now this...

Some people asked me what I expected was going on through her mind. Did she think 'If I am going to die, I'm bringing some people down with me'? Surely not. I can't imagine that that would be the case.

I did once know a young rent boy (hanging out in the London gay scene, I used to know many) who was HIV-positive. He had told me so himself and I also knew the person he caught it from. Soon after he had poured his heart out to me, he 'disappeared' from the scene. No one knew where he had gone and we were all quite worried about him, but assumed that he had gone back to be with his family.

Roughly a year later, he showed up on my doorstep. He looked like any other 19-year-old. Healthy, clean, well-dressed, etc. He came in and told me about his life. He had moved up North, got a job and a new girlfriend. He chatted for ages and was all happy and bubbly. I, on the other hand, got quieter by the minute and wondered how he was dealing with the HIV and wondered if he had told his new, young girlfriend about his past.

When I asked him, he just blew up in my face. 'What are you suggesting? Are you saying I'm gay? I'm not gay. I'm not HIV positive. You're full of s***t!' He stormed out of my house and I never saw him again. This was before mobile phones, email accounts, etc. So I didn't have any way to contact him again.

When I discussed his reaction with another friend who's a counsellor to HIV and Aids patients, he told me that- sadly enough- this is a reaction they see more often than anyone realizes. Many people go into complete denial and continue to infect others by pretending 'that nothing is wrong'.

Is this what happened in Nadja's case? I don't know. But it's one possible explanation for what happened. Of course, this doesn't make her reckless behaviour any more excusible.

Let this be a lesson to everyone though, that we can't be complacent when it comes to safe sex. Even the most beautiful, successful, 'picture of health' people can be HIV carriers & they may not share their health status with you, if they are even aware of it to start with.

So be safe!

1 Comment:

Tavi said...

Sad storie!!
My opinion... if she knew about the hiv.. she is guilty... because you don't mass with this kind of sickness is not a flu or other thing... you got it for life.... it's not like you spreading a word around!!
You don't mass with this !! and your partenr must know about this problem!! I have a wisdom for this but you must put a red square !:)
for those who want to have fun with the faimous poeple they must think first for one night a pleasure "you can take "a gift" and then will be one hole life of hell" ... ;-)

Have a great week!!